I guess that's something.

I haven't blogged much as of late, mostly because I haven't felt like much of what I've been thinking has been worthwhile to share with others. I guess I've spent some time in some sort of funk. To understand, let me catch you up on the past week or so of my life.

I started working about two weeks ago, back at Bucknell. I'm just doing some part time work in their career center. They've invited me on staff basically to help students in one-on-one appointments with a variety of things. Mostly I've helped students with resumes and cover letters. A few times, I've talked students through how to do an internship search. There's a few other types of meetings I can have with students and I'm sure those will filter in soon. It's good work, I guess, for the time being. You would think that helping students with things like resumes and searches would be somewhat inspiring to me, like motivation to get myself in gear and start answering that question of "What am I going to do with my life?" But sadly, I haven't been inspired. I keep thinking that a lot of the things I'd like to get paid to do are areas in which I lack any real experience. And I'm just not ready to figure out how to break through some of these walls. So I haven't made any progress for myself. I have earned a pay check, so I guess that's something.

I went to trivia last Monday, as I've been doing from time to time with some friends. Finally, my team actually won, despite some drama in the final round. You would think this would give me some sense of accomplishment. For being part of the team, maybe. But if I were answering those questions on my own, I wouldn't have a chance. So I'm not sure if I feel good about the victory or pathetic that I don't know much about anything really. It is nice to be a part of a team, so I guess that's something too.

I spent the last four days in bed, with a sinus infection. My mom said it was okay to spend Sunday sick in bed because there was a House marathon on television. Right, like there aren't a million other things I'd rather be doing than being on my death bed watching House. I think this would have only been enjoyable if House had magically come to life in my living room and shot me up with some magic drug that instantly cured what is bound to take the next 7-10 days to filter out of my body. I hate being sick. I really really don't do well with this process. I hate feeling weak. I hate pain that won't go away. It absolutely sucks and I don't deal with it well at all. Once I feel weak, I start to feel miserable. And it was worse this time. All I kept thinking was, "Would I get this sick in a warmer climate?" And then that leads me to hate being in the land of winter, which then reminds me that I'm not where I want to be, and then I get overwhelmed that, like I said earlier, I haven't made any progress figuring out what I want to do with myself. This is a vicious cycle, and it beat me up pretty good over the past few days. Needless to say, I think it's going to take quite some time for me to get back to my 100%. I guess that's a daunting something.

I did watch some more of Lost, I'm almost done with season three. If you know how many episodes there are in the first three seasons, then you are already aware of how asbolutely pathetic it is that I have watched this much television in the last few weeks. But I can't help myself. It's an addicting show. And it's set on an island, and I want to be on an island. It gives me a chance to ponder moving to a warmer climate and living life as a beach bum. That's the possible something I hold on to, a future on a beach.

So these are some of the things keeping me in this strange funk, I guess. Not to mention that today is Groundhog's Day and that stupid rodent saw its damn shadow. This ridiculous tradition of course means there's more winter to come, which is already apparent as it's snowing again. Lovely. I just love every minute of it.