A nice night for a ball game.

I usually enjoy an evening of relaxing and spectating at baseball games. Therefore, I suggested that last night, my aunt and uncle and I head down to Autozone Park to watch the Memphis Redbirds play (a triple A affiliate of the St. Louis Cardinals). The Redbirds started their season 0-8 going into last night's game, so it was anyone's guess just how worthwhile the experience would be. The field of play, however, left no disappointments.

The Redbirds actually won, and there were some great hits and plays, including five home runs. In addition, it was the perfect night for a ball game -- the sun had just set, it was in the 70s, and there was a nice breeze. Tickets were $8.00. We had some BBQ Nachos and a Funnel Cake. All in all, the game fulfilled my every spectating desire.

Sporting events are always a good time to explore the endless examples of ridiculousness in America and people that annoy me. Two good examples:


First, we sat near a little league team and their parents who were honored as the team of the game or something. Cute kids, really. But throughout the entire game, they acted like total morons. Half of the time, their parents acted just the same. A good example came in the 7th inning when about half the team thought it would be a good idea to stand right in front of us and other spectators right against the field wall. You would think ONE of these many parents would be conscious of the fact that all of these kiddies were blocking the happy spectating view of others. You would think any ONE of the kids may have been taught by their parents to be conscious of others around them. Yeah right. Good one. So instead of any of these kids or parents realizing they were obstructing the views of many, the seat attendant had to tell them to get the hell out of people's views. I can't help but wonder if these parents then felt like assholes for not having the common sense or the decency to do the right thing. Then again, many parents nowadays are idiots and their children will grow up to be idiots as well. Just one of the many things wrong with America and one of the many types of people that annoy me.

Second, I want to introduce you to the mother I like to call "Feathered Bangs" -- this woman was a sight for sore eyes. Now I know I am not the most fashionable female around and I don't care much about appearance but this woman annoyed me so much I just couldn't help reacting. First of all, she sat in the front row of the section in direct sight to my view of home plate. Not only did she not watch ANY of the game because she talked to her sister behind her the entire time, but because of this, I had to stare at her awful hairdo the entire game. All I wanted to say was, "Honey, feathered bangs went out many moons ago. Get with the program." Yes, you are correct in your assumptions if you're wondering what a woman with feathered bangs would wear -- high cut, stonewash faded jeans with tapered legs and a t-shirt tucked so far into said jeans that she probably had a reverse weggie. Her dress was only one thing that annoyed me. More so, she annoyed me because I had to look in her direction for every pitch and she failed to watch one second of the game. Why do people go to events that they don't watch? Seems like a ridiculous waste of money. Not only that, but when half the team obstructed everyone's view, she sat right next to them and said nothing, like a dumbass. She is a good example of people who annoy me.

All in all though, it was a nice night for a ball game. I am excited I get to redeem my tickets for another game so I can enjoy another baseball game and more ridiculousness from people who annoy me. Can there be a better way to spend one's evening?

What's in a name?

There are a few things you cannot control in life -- the weather, gas prices, your family, other people -- to name a few. Seriously, you have no control over who you are born to. For many people, this works out quite well -- you have a pretty awesome set of parents. You may not always think so, but if you consider the parents of some of the people you know, chances are pretty good you like yours a hell of a lot better than the others. Think about it for a minute.

Occassionally, I feel bad for children, particularly when I take a look at their parents. Some children are not as fortunate as I -- I have awesome parents that I wouldn't trade for anything. But there are many who are not as fortunate as me, and this can be known from the start.

One of the strangest things about parenting, I think, is deciphering the name of your child. Sometimes I feel people give this the necessary thought - children are often named for family members or friends or people who have been inspiring to the parents. A lot of times, children end up with pretty "normal" names.

But on occassion, you meet someone's child and they tell you their name and you can't help but think to yourself, "Wow. What an awful name. What an awful name to have for one's whole life." I give you two very recent examples:

The professor of one of my students told his class that he and his wife named their daughter "Gnome." That's right, Gnome, like the Travelocity Gnome. Like the fairytale characters that people think are strange, odd, and freakishly weird.

Then there's always the celebrity couples who name their children random weird names. The latest: Gwenyth Paltrow named her son Moses to go right along with her daughter Apple. Is she serious here? Who names their child Moses? For the love.

I always believe that if I were to have children in my future, I would take some time to think about my child's name, particularly when she/he reaches middle school and peers begin to make fun of children for just about anything, but particularly the name. Do these crazy parents not think about how the name they give their child can significantly scar them for life?

Hi, my name is Gnome.

Hi, my name is Moses.

Is it just me, or does this sound borderline ridiculous? Is it just me, or do other people out there feel bad for these children? God, I hope they have normal lives, because their parents have already set them up for some serious hell.

A tradition...

The Masters is indeed "a tradition unlike any other". Like any real golf fan, I look forward to a weekend of sitting in front of the tv and watching drive after drive, putt after putt of remarkable professional golf. There is always a good deal of excitement in any major competition, but particularly in the Masters.

Like anything, however, I always find things that annoy me.

For starters, I am not a Tiger Woods fan. I am not saying he isn't one of the greatest golfers to ever play the game, because he truly has left his mark (and will continue to do so) on the golf world. However, I just can't stand how much the media follows him and focuses on him more than any other golfer. If I'm not mistaken, there are dozens of other great golfers who have just as good a chance to win major competitions.

I'm really not interested in wanting to watch EVERY stroke of Tiger Woods over an entire weekend of play. I am especially not interested in watching EVERY stroke TWICE -- for the love, we get it. He's good. We saw his nice shot, but do we have to see the good ones twice? But seriously, do we have to watch every approach, every putt? Can we see somebody else for a change?

I love Phil Mickelson. I do. I think he's great, and I hope he finds more major success, and hopefully soon. But for the love, this man makes millions of dollars. Doesn't anyone else agree that he should invest in a bro? I'm talking about a "bro" as seen on Seinfeld -- that's right, a bra for men. Phil, enough of the man boobs -- at least wear a wife beater -- surely you can afford one.

The commentators also annoy me. Particularly, they annoy me when they're wrong and don't admit it. This happens a lot. As a player approaches his shot, they say something like, "I don't agree with this club choice" or "I would have taken a drop here instead of playing that ball". Nine times out of ten, the commentators are WRONG. Um, for the love, admit you were wrong, please. No one thinks it's a miracle when the golfer does what the commentator disagrees with and it ends up to be a marvelous shot. This is why the professionals are the professionals and the commentators are the commentators.

Despite these small annoyances, I do love the Masters. I love golf in general and I will continue to watch. But a girl can dream, right? What fun would anything be if there wasn't something to drive me nuts? Here's to a stellar Sunday of spectacular strokes.

We live in a messed up world.

We live in a messed up world. If you disagree with that statement, look around you. If you're not convinced, read this: http://movies.yahoo.com/mv/news/fs/20060404/114417608000.html

There's no way you disagree now, is there?

Is this guy serious? I mean, really. Paris Hilton as Mother Theresa?

This may be the most messed up thing I have ever heard. Yes, that is a bold statement, but honestly, I can't think of anything more ridiculous than this. I am appalled. This is like allowing Hussein or bin Laden to play the role of Jesus.

Have you heard of this director? No? That's because he's only directed two other films, I promise you've never heard of them. And if he thinks Paris Hilton as Mother Theresa is going to get him noticed as a good film maker, he's got another thing coming. The only thing people are going to think about this guy is he is

a. delusional
b. a serious crack smoker
c. a disgrace to humanity
d. all of the above

This is all I have to say on this matter. Pardon me while I vomit.

Worth the wait???

The saying, "Good things come to those who wait", is applyed by many a people in many a situation. It's often spoken as a means of encouragement, a bit of advice to those longing for something they so desperately need. More often than not, it's a way to justify hoping for something desired, not something that necessarily can be considered a "need" but rather a "want."

The Counting Crows, one of my most favorite bands of all time, announced on March 31 that they will go on tour this summer with the Goo Goo Dolls, another of my most favorite bands of all time. You cannot imagine the excitement and the exclamations of joy when I read this announcement. I have long waited for the return of Adam Duritz on stage, as I missed the Counting Crows last tour a few years back. Adam Duritz on the same stage with Johnny Reznick -- can there be a better combination?

I have not one doubt that the few years Counting Crows fans like myself have waited for this moment were well worth the wait. This is truly a "good thing" that I will appreciate much more this summer because of the suspense I've experienced over the past few years.

The question is not how great these concerts will be. The only question is: how far will I travel to attend these amazing shows?

Giddy up, friends, it's soon time to rock out to the amazing music of the Counting Crows and the Goo Goo Dolls. Who wants to join me??