Weird Stuff

Please try to picture the following scene. Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum in Times Square. Seven high school students of the alternative nature huddled together trying to determine if they should spend $24 to experience the sites within the museum. Customer service agent trying to convince students to spend this money saying, "If you like weird stuff, and I can tell by the look of you that you do, this is the museum for you."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I chaperoned these seven students for roughly eight hours on Tuesday as part of a high school's trip to NYC for the day to see Wicked. I can't even creatively conjure up any fabrication of this actual experience; I promise that what I describe to you here is in reality what actually did transpire. Here's how the day progressed.

A female sophomore seemed to emerge as the group's leader and decision-maker from the start, as she was the one with a plan for lunch. We arrived in the city around 11am so lunch seemed like a good first thing to do. She said, "There's a fairly cheap BBQ place that's not far from a really cool candy store we want to go to." So off we went. We walked a good hour, so I'm guessing at least 2 miles to happen upon Dallas BBQ on the corner of 70th and 3rd Ave. It took us a little longer than it should have because of the one group member that I refer to as the Slow Walker. As you can imagine, he puttered about on this walk, casually shuffling his feet at an incredibly slow pace. Every time we crossed a street, I had to ensure he actually made it and wasn't stuck in traffic.

The students were pretty stoked about eating at this BBQ joint, as they proceeded to sample a variety of southern fried chicken, ribs and pork. I was obviously disappointed as I spent the past 3.5 years eating these foods in Memphis and I was hoping for some good Italian or Thai or basically anything other than pulled pork. The kids win, you know? It was a decent sandwich even though the flavor of this BBQ was Carolina in nature. I'm still not sure why it was called Dallas BBQ.

Anyway, from there we walked back about a mile to Dylan's Candy Bar, which was actually quite interesting. I mean, it's not every day you can buy a Wonka Bar or some old-fashioned rock candy from a three-story candy store. However, at this point, I was starting to wonder just what these kids thought about NYC as a whole. BBQ and candy as top priorities for a day in NYC? Weird stuff.

At this point, the group was torn on going to explore Times Square or China Town. I really wasn't interested in taking this group to China Town because I wasn't sure they could handle it. One of the females remembered there was a Hello Kitty store in Times Square, so that seemed to be the next biggest priority. Like I said, weird stuff. We hopped on the subway and landed on 42nd St. To my sight, one of the first places I noticed was another Dallas BBQ. Glad we took the two-mile hike to a place that was five blocks from where the bus dropped us off. Goooood times.

As a side note, I don't really "get" Hello Kitty. This girl did, though, as she dropped a good 25 bucks on a hat while her friend dropped a good 15 bucks on a key wallet.

From here the decision was either to visit Madamde Taussade's Wax Museum or Ripley's Believe It or Not. As you may have already figured out via foreshadowing, the wax museum proved too expensive and the weirdness prevailed. I can't even really put to words my experience in Ripley's. It really is a strange place, comprised of strange things, like shrunken heads and exotic neck stretchers and outdated torture devices and a mural made out of 70,000 stamps and a picture made out of dryer lint. The students seemed to most enjoy the "black hole" experience; a room that spins and when you walk through it, it gives you the sensation you're the one spinning and what not. They spent a good 30 minutes here; I looked at some x-rays of weird objects people had swallowed, like a 10-inch long knife.

After this enlightening experience, we bounded through Time Square and surrounding areas looking in shops and such. These students seemed most attracted to the flea market type stores with their cheap souvenirs. We did make one pit stop in a beauty supply store so the group leader could purchase two white styrafoam heads. Yes, you read that correctly. Heads of styrafoam. She proceeded to give them names and personalities as she carried them around for the next three hours. At this point, I wasn't sure I was going to make the rest of the day.

After this weird stop, I wondered what they had planned for dinner, and I felt this was a good time to know since if we were going to sit down at a restaurant, we probably needed to do so soon. To my displeasure, I was informed that dinner was not in the plans. Apparently, the candy they purchased earlier was all they needed to get through the day. At this point, I was quite perturbed as I knew I would be starving come show-time. Unfortunately, I didn't feel I could make a point to eat myself, particularly when I realized most of them had blown all of their money on cheap souvenirs and Hello Kitty gear. I couldn't possibly eat in front of them so I had to suck it up for the remainder of the evening. We spent the rest of our time before the show further exploring the ridiculous stores in Times Square. Oh, and a few of them stopped for frozen custard. Again I was wondering what these kids think of NYC as a whole?

At this time, I was starting to feel that my patience was running out, so I drug them to the theater a little early so they could get to their seats early. I had to stay in the lobby and wait for another teacher's group because I had their tickets. This at least gave me 30 minutes to myself to try to comprehend what they hell I just experienced over the past seven hours.

On a brighter note, Wicked was absolutely amazing and I am glad I did get to see it at a discounted rate. It was hard to focus at times, though, because when you're seated in a theater surrounded by teenie-boppers, you have the pleasure of listening to them whisper to each other or send text messages every 5.8 seconds. The youth of America, clearly a delight.

It was a wickedly weird day for me. I hope for the chance to go to NYC again soon so I can have a normal experience of shopping, dining, and real sites.