That's right: I traveled 1,087 miles to get home for the holidays. It's a good thing I love my car because this was perhaps the most unenjoyable road trip I've experienced thus far. A trip that expanded over 3 days and 14 hours on the road in terrential downpours throughout eastern Tennessee and all of Virginia made me about want to drive into a ditch numerous times. Thank God the great commonwealth of Virginia has a Sheetz and a Dunkin Donuts at just about every exit because that made it all the better when I needed to stop the driving madness.
I am going to do this all again, hopefully without the rain, on Friday of this week to head back to Elvis-land. Good thing cousin Jen will be there to entertain me - should be a blast.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Thursday, December 21, 2006
I am an Anti-Dentite.
If you are an obsessive Seinfeld fan like yours truly, then you know immediately what the title of this post refers to. If you're not, here's some commentary from the show itself:
JERRY: Kramer, he's just a dentist.
KRAMER: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.
JERRY: I am not an anti-dentite!
KRAMER: You're a rabid anti-dentite!
Like Jerry, I am an anti-dentite.
The fact of the matter is: I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST!
The dentist is my least favorite doctor to see on a yearly basis. In fact, I would rather see my gynocologist monthly than see any dentist once a year. Most women would disagree with this statement, but this is how I feel.
I strongly dislike the dentist. The truth remains that everything about a dentist visit, even if you like your dentist, is just flat out uncomfortable. Everything about someone jabbing things at your teeth and your gums and shoving their fingers in your mouth disturbs me. I hate the taste of plastic gloves all over my mouth. I hate the jabbing and the picking at my teeth and gumline. I hate the floride grossness on my teeth. I hate the suction tube that sucks the life out of my gums. I hate all of it.
I don't even like the free toothbrush as a reward for suffering through the discomfort.
Yesterday, I had to go to the dentist for the first time this year because I really needed my yearly cleaning. So, being that I have health insurance, I picked a dentist from the book listing having no information.
This is what we call Stupid Move #1.
My karma in this sense was completely off. I drove into a sketchy parking garage and hiked to the dentist's office. The smell alone was enough of a sign that I should have turned around, and walked immediately back to my car.
The receptionist was rude.
I had to wait 20 minutes after my appointment time to even get seated.
The hygenist took xrays, and shoved my head onto the bar.
The dentist couldn't pronounce my name and barely introduced himself to me.
The dentist spent 5 minutes rough-housing my mouth. He picked at my teeth about a thousand times harder than I've ever experienced. My gums starting bleeding sooo badly that gauze was needed. I believe this falls under the category of "absolutely unnecessary and ridiculous."
While he jabbed away at my mouth and then performed the cleaning (which was, by the way, not very effective and also very uncomfortable), he talked with the hygenist about some issue regarding another patient.
Still, at this point, he had yet to say anything to me about my xrays or my hygiene.
He abrubtly left, and the hygenist said, "I'll get you some mouthwash. Here's your toothbrush."
Um, OK.
So she handed me the stuff and then said, "Oh, by the way, you have 3 cavities so you need to make another appointment."
"Excuse me? That's interesting, as the dentist said nothing about that to me. And for the record, I've never had a cavity so I find that hard to believe."
"Well, make an appointment."
Well, kiss my ass, lady. I wouldn't come back here if my life depended on it.
So then I had to sit uncomfortably in the waiting room for the mean receptionist to get my chart and so I could pay my co-pay. She said, "You need to make an appointment."
I said, "Oh, I'll be sure to call you to do just that." (sarcasm noted)
I threw $10 at her and walked out.
The fact still remains that I am, indeed, an anti-dentite.
JERRY: Kramer, he's just a dentist.
KRAMER: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.
JERRY: I am not an anti-dentite!
KRAMER: You're a rabid anti-dentite!
Like Jerry, I am an anti-dentite.
The fact of the matter is: I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST!
The dentist is my least favorite doctor to see on a yearly basis. In fact, I would rather see my gynocologist monthly than see any dentist once a year. Most women would disagree with this statement, but this is how I feel.
I strongly dislike the dentist. The truth remains that everything about a dentist visit, even if you like your dentist, is just flat out uncomfortable. Everything about someone jabbing things at your teeth and your gums and shoving their fingers in your mouth disturbs me. I hate the taste of plastic gloves all over my mouth. I hate the jabbing and the picking at my teeth and gumline. I hate the floride grossness on my teeth. I hate the suction tube that sucks the life out of my gums. I hate all of it.
I don't even like the free toothbrush as a reward for suffering through the discomfort.
Yesterday, I had to go to the dentist for the first time this year because I really needed my yearly cleaning. So, being that I have health insurance, I picked a dentist from the book listing having no information.
This is what we call Stupid Move #1.
My karma in this sense was completely off. I drove into a sketchy parking garage and hiked to the dentist's office. The smell alone was enough of a sign that I should have turned around, and walked immediately back to my car.
The receptionist was rude.
I had to wait 20 minutes after my appointment time to even get seated.
The hygenist took xrays, and shoved my head onto the bar.
The dentist couldn't pronounce my name and barely introduced himself to me.
The dentist spent 5 minutes rough-housing my mouth. He picked at my teeth about a thousand times harder than I've ever experienced. My gums starting bleeding sooo badly that gauze was needed. I believe this falls under the category of "absolutely unnecessary and ridiculous."
While he jabbed away at my mouth and then performed the cleaning (which was, by the way, not very effective and also very uncomfortable), he talked with the hygenist about some issue regarding another patient.
Still, at this point, he had yet to say anything to me about my xrays or my hygiene.
He abrubtly left, and the hygenist said, "I'll get you some mouthwash. Here's your toothbrush."
Um, OK.
So she handed me the stuff and then said, "Oh, by the way, you have 3 cavities so you need to make another appointment."
"Excuse me? That's interesting, as the dentist said nothing about that to me. And for the record, I've never had a cavity so I find that hard to believe."
"Well, make an appointment."
Well, kiss my ass, lady. I wouldn't come back here if my life depended on it.
So then I had to sit uncomfortably in the waiting room for the mean receptionist to get my chart and so I could pay my co-pay. She said, "You need to make an appointment."
I said, "Oh, I'll be sure to call you to do just that." (sarcasm noted)
I threw $10 at her and walked out.
The fact still remains that I am, indeed, an anti-dentite.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Easy like Sunday morning...
Recently (read: the last six months), I have come to significantly embrace all that Sunday is intended to be, a solid day of rest. In my former life roles as a student/grad student/intern, a large percentage of my responsibilities (including studying, cocurricular activities, and work duties) forced me to dedicate many a hour of my personal time to completing particular tasks. Sundays were pretty hard core days of work, rather than days of rest.
Since May, I have forcefully made a significant effort to win over Sundays as a day of pure rest and relaxation. I measure the success of this effort by the following criteria, what I am now going to refer to as my Sunday Commandments:
1. Thou shall sleep in as late as possible, particularly past 10am.
2. Thou shall not shower.
3. Thou shall spend as much time on one's couch as possible.
4. Thou shall not leave one's apartment/home for any reason.
5. Thou shall watch as many sporting events on tv as possible.
6. Thou shall only get up from couch to retrieve food from the kitchen or use the bathroom.
7. Thou shall contribute nothing to society.
8. Thou shall interact with other human beings as least as possible.
9. Thou shall do nothing productive.
10. Thou shall take at least one nap and go to bed as close as possible to the 12th hour of being awake.
Maybe I should rename these "The Laziest Human Being's Guide to Being a Waste of Flesh".
Regardless, I've waited a long time to do nothing on Sundays, and this is what I intend to do for as long as possible.
Since May, I have forcefully made a significant effort to win over Sundays as a day of pure rest and relaxation. I measure the success of this effort by the following criteria, what I am now going to refer to as my Sunday Commandments:
1. Thou shall sleep in as late as possible, particularly past 10am.
2. Thou shall not shower.
3. Thou shall spend as much time on one's couch as possible.
4. Thou shall not leave one's apartment/home for any reason.
5. Thou shall watch as many sporting events on tv as possible.
6. Thou shall only get up from couch to retrieve food from the kitchen or use the bathroom.
7. Thou shall contribute nothing to society.
8. Thou shall interact with other human beings as least as possible.
9. Thou shall do nothing productive.
10. Thou shall take at least one nap and go to bed as close as possible to the 12th hour of being awake.
Maybe I should rename these "The Laziest Human Being's Guide to Being a Waste of Flesh".
Regardless, I've waited a long time to do nothing on Sundays, and this is what I intend to do for as long as possible.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Bah! Humbug!
Typically, my friends and family refer to me as "Scrooge" during the Christmas season. I don't really like Christmas. I become easily bogged down in the madness that people make Christmas out to be, and thus, it leaves me wanting for less chaos and more serenity, much the reason why I looooove Thanksgiving - it's simple, there's no hullabaloo.
It's not that I don't like what Christmas stands for. The fact of the matter is, I like what it stands for - which is, in reality, the birth of Christ as his role in our great world. Jesus is the reason for the season, as they say.
It significantly bothers me, however, that the reason for Christmas gets lost in the ridiculous, overAmericanization/overcommercialization of the holiday. It also significantly bothers me that people stress and stress and stress some more about cookies, gifts, parties, etc.
I just don't understand why we have to make things soooo complicated. The holiday should be celebrated for the right reasons with the right perspectives.
And thus, I am trying really hard to not be "Scrooge" this year for Christmas. In fact, I spent a significant time yesterday working on my Christmas Cards. I sat at a local eatery for 2 hours writing, licking, stickering, and postaging my cards. The waiter even noticed when he said,
"Wow. You're really putting some effort into those."
To which I responded, "And I don't even really like Christmas."
It is worth the effort I guess.
The fact of the matter is this Christmas is going to be particularly hard on my family, as we attempt to celebrate without my grandfather for the first time. Maybe this is why I am trying extra hard not be "the mean one, Mr. Grinch" this year.
Who knows, really. Hopefully, though, I'll find some good memories to savor.
It's not that I don't like what Christmas stands for. The fact of the matter is, I like what it stands for - which is, in reality, the birth of Christ as his role in our great world. Jesus is the reason for the season, as they say.
It significantly bothers me, however, that the reason for Christmas gets lost in the ridiculous, overAmericanization/overcommercialization of the holiday. It also significantly bothers me that people stress and stress and stress some more about cookies, gifts, parties, etc.
I just don't understand why we have to make things soooo complicated. The holiday should be celebrated for the right reasons with the right perspectives.
And thus, I am trying really hard to not be "Scrooge" this year for Christmas. In fact, I spent a significant time yesterday working on my Christmas Cards. I sat at a local eatery for 2 hours writing, licking, stickering, and postaging my cards. The waiter even noticed when he said,
"Wow. You're really putting some effort into those."
To which I responded, "And I don't even really like Christmas."
It is worth the effort I guess.
The fact of the matter is this Christmas is going to be particularly hard on my family, as we attempt to celebrate without my grandfather for the first time. Maybe this is why I am trying extra hard not be "the mean one, Mr. Grinch" this year.
Who knows, really. Hopefully, though, I'll find some good memories to savor.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
It's Been a While...
I haven't posted on my beloved blog in quite some time. The fact of the matter is, really, that I haven't had anything all that interesting to think about and then write about - I guess I've hit a stalemate with my observations.
November was a pretty good month overall though, including some firsts.
1. Finally got to travel with one of the teams I work with for their tournament. It was quite the learning experience, I must say.
2. Took a whole week of vacation to spend Thanksgiving at home. This was good because normally I don't get home until late on Wednesday night and everyone else is already wasted except me, which is not really much fun. This year, however, allowed me to get drunk with everyone else, which was quite the fun.
3. First time I ever needed a connecting flight in Chicago O'Hare airport in which I didn't have to walk across the entire airport to find my plane. In fact, my connection back to Memphis left from the exact same gate I landed at from Harrisburg... shocker!
And finally, this was the first year in about seven that I didn't get ridiculously mad about "Christmas before Thanksgiving". If you know me well, you know this is my biggest pet peeve because I adore Thanksgiving and feel it gets overlooked by the ridiculous overcommercialization and stress of preparing for Christmas. I didn't even get that mad when I went to the mall and got bombarded by the Santa Claus at the photo booth. I guess I just wasn't in the mood to be angry about people's madness. So it's either that I lost my ability to be emotional or I was just too tired to care. Either way, I wasn't mad and that's probably a good thing.
Perhaps December will bring some good stories to share.
November was a pretty good month overall though, including some firsts.
1. Finally got to travel with one of the teams I work with for their tournament. It was quite the learning experience, I must say.
2. Took a whole week of vacation to spend Thanksgiving at home. This was good because normally I don't get home until late on Wednesday night and everyone else is already wasted except me, which is not really much fun. This year, however, allowed me to get drunk with everyone else, which was quite the fun.
3. First time I ever needed a connecting flight in Chicago O'Hare airport in which I didn't have to walk across the entire airport to find my plane. In fact, my connection back to Memphis left from the exact same gate I landed at from Harrisburg... shocker!
And finally, this was the first year in about seven that I didn't get ridiculously mad about "Christmas before Thanksgiving". If you know me well, you know this is my biggest pet peeve because I adore Thanksgiving and feel it gets overlooked by the ridiculous overcommercialization and stress of preparing for Christmas. I didn't even get that mad when I went to the mall and got bombarded by the Santa Claus at the photo booth. I guess I just wasn't in the mood to be angry about people's madness. So it's either that I lost my ability to be emotional or I was just too tired to care. Either way, I wasn't mad and that's probably a good thing.
Perhaps December will bring some good stories to share.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
