Grocery Efficiency...

Each week while a student at the Bucknell, I had the utmost pleasure of accompanying my good friend Coleman to the local Weis (pronounced Weis's for you locals out there) for a supermarket shopping extravaganza. This weekly rendevous through the supermarket aisles centered on one main goal: grocery efficiency. Basically, the goal of each trip was to maximize products purchased per money spent. That is, Coleman would try endlessly to ensure the average meal he purchased was no more than $5.00 per meal. Something like a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter was a good deal because these meals clearly accounted for less than $5.00. This was good because then one may choose to splurge on things like TastyCakes. Mmmmm.

Coleman spent many a moment ensuring he was getting the proverbial "bang for his buck." He is quite the artful master of grocery proficiency and could be called upon by anyone needing a lesson in such an area.

For example, I share with you a most recent voicemail from Coleman:

"For the record, I have just set the grocery shopping efficiency record. For thirty dollars, I got 7 packages of Hot Pockets. Let alone, right there, 2 Hot Pockets for a meal, you're well within the clear. Plus I got two 12 packs of Cherry Coke, a bag of Sunflower Seeds, AND an Angel Food cake, AND a half pound of imported ham, AND a loaf of bread, and Kraft Singles. I rock."

(and in a separate message)
"Oh, and I forgot about the two pounds of ground chicken. Bye."

Clearly, he is the master. This is indeed the record of grocery efficiency. Congratulations, my friend, you continue to set the highest of grocery shopping standards.