My "workout" today was physically draining. As I mentioned in my previous post, I am an out of shape fat ass who watches television; thus, trying to get back in shape is a physical challenge.
But as mentioned, I've accepted the physical challenge.
This new plan of mine is also emotionally draining because I suck. I am so out of shape, it's actually embarrassing to admit to a public audience. But, I think this public declaration of embarrassment will help keep me committed to getting back in shape.
In any case, as if my workout today wasn't emotionally draining enough, I just suffered through every pitch of the Phillies 14 inning ridiculousness of a ball game. I am so emotionally distraught over baseball, it's not even comprehendible in a logical world.
I can't even begin to describe the purely shameful display the Phillies put on. Don't get the wrong impression here; the Phillies actually won tonight's game by some purely magical stroke of luck. But it was absolutely brutal to sit through for 5 full hours. Not once did I change the channel in 5 hours. For 5 hours I suffered through error after error, bad pitch after bad pitch, stupid play after stupid play. Like I said, emotionally distraught.
I mean, watching this makes you wonder if the Phillies are trying to blow the Wild Card race. I just hope to God they get their multi-million dollar heads out of their butts and get their crap together to make a good go of it over the next 4 days. Then again, I'm not sure I can handle the roller coaster ride that is every pitch of every inning.
Who am I kidding? I'll watch. I'll say things like, "Find the plate, you whore" in regards to our multiple pitchers who blow multiple saves in one game. I'll scream my head off in agony. I'll pull at my hair. I'll throw the pillows. I'll jump up and down when we score. I'll scream my head off in glory. I'll carry on like a nutso lunatic. My emotions will carry me through.
Hey, no one says it needs to be pretty. It just needs to be.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Ah, comfy clothes.
I'm trying to get back in shape, which is quite the arduous task for my fat, lazy, tv-watching ass. Said effort began this past Monday. While I will not recount my absolute disgrace of attempting to work out, I will say that my shins have been sore since Monday. I did battle through the pain to work out again today, but it will take some time to adjust.
I woke up this morning tired and sore. This is when the shins started to hurt the most.
In my previous life as a student, this was a day I'd throw on my favorite red sweats, a hoodie and a hat and roll out to class. In my life as a "real person"/"professional", however, it would be inappropriate to show up to work in sweats and a hat.
So I opted for my favorite pair of linen pants - they're slightly larger than they need to be, but that's why I like them. They are comfy. And on a day like today, I needed comfy. I needed to pretend I was wearing sweats so I could take off my shoes and sit Indian style at my desk. It helped me battle through what has become my typical work day of listening to students whine and ask me stupid questions. Thank God for the comfy clothes.
I woke up this morning tired and sore. This is when the shins started to hurt the most.
In my previous life as a student, this was a day I'd throw on my favorite red sweats, a hoodie and a hat and roll out to class. In my life as a "real person"/"professional", however, it would be inappropriate to show up to work in sweats and a hat.
So I opted for my favorite pair of linen pants - they're slightly larger than they need to be, but that's why I like them. They are comfy. And on a day like today, I needed comfy. I needed to pretend I was wearing sweats so I could take off my shoes and sit Indian style at my desk. It helped me battle through what has become my typical work day of listening to students whine and ask me stupid questions. Thank God for the comfy clothes.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Responsibility? What is that?
I have excellent parents. I realize this more and more every day, not only because I know they have supported me through everything I've done in my life, but really because I believe they are the main reason I am who I am today.
I know that if asked, my friends would describe me as someone who is funny, sarcastic and a good time to be around. But in all seriousness, I know they would describe me as a hardworker who's level-headed, dedicated, and determined. I attribute this to my parents.
My mom and dad raised me to learn how to think for myself and to be responsible - to try first to come up with a workable solution to a problem before I ask for help - to use my common sense and logical thought process to work out a problem, to be dedicated to solving it, and to be determind to work it out and learn from the process.
I find that as I work with the late adolescent/early adult population, being able to think for oneself and taking responsibility for oneself seems to be less of the norm nowadays. I'm starting to believe this is part of a larger American cultural issue where many a parent resort to "doing for" their children instead of helping their children "do for themselves". So when these children get to be college age and are on their own, they're so used to having things done for them that they can't do things for themselves and they don't want to take responsibility for their actions.
It's apparently too much work to think for yourself in 2006.
Now I know I am generalizing to a significantly large population, and I know that not every 19 year old can't think/do for oneself, but I have been overwhelmed with how many students I work with who fall into this less responsible category.
As I said to my brother earlier, I sometimes find myself thinking: "If I asked my parents that question, Dad would have kicked me swiftly in the ass." Now not literally, as my parents didn't resort to violence in parenting, but you get the point - he would have looked at me with the look of "Well, what do you think you should do?"
As a simple example, I remember once saying, "Dad, how do you spell ____?" and insert some word I couldn't spell. He'd say, "Carol, what does the dictionary say?" In other words, "Carol, get the dictionary and figure it out." I got the point. I never asked my dad how to spell another word. I had the knowledge and resources to do it on my own, and that's what he pushed me to do. I mean, it wasn't rocket science - I could handle it on my own.
When I told my brother earlier that I think Dad would have kicked me if I asked him some of the questions I get asked on a daily basis, he asked me "What questions?" so I gave him a few examples:
"Carol, can you cite this for me?"
"Carol, can you find my professor's website for me?"
"Carol, can you talk to my professor for me?"
"Carol, can you wipe my ass?"
I mean, seriously, that's how ridiculous some of the questions are.
I don't know where I'm going with this, but the frustration I feel lately with my students is driving me nuts. It makes me wonder how long I can keep fighting the good fight of trying to push these students to develop responsibility for themselvevs when I know I will be faced with utter ridiculousness on most days. Some people tell me I should lower my expectations, but I don't think asking less of people will serve them or me for that matter better in the long run.
I can't help but feel morally depleted in my endeavor as an educator. And that's really, really depressing...
I know that if asked, my friends would describe me as someone who is funny, sarcastic and a good time to be around. But in all seriousness, I know they would describe me as a hardworker who's level-headed, dedicated, and determined. I attribute this to my parents.
My mom and dad raised me to learn how to think for myself and to be responsible - to try first to come up with a workable solution to a problem before I ask for help - to use my common sense and logical thought process to work out a problem, to be dedicated to solving it, and to be determind to work it out and learn from the process.
I find that as I work with the late adolescent/early adult population, being able to think for oneself and taking responsibility for oneself seems to be less of the norm nowadays. I'm starting to believe this is part of a larger American cultural issue where many a parent resort to "doing for" their children instead of helping their children "do for themselves". So when these children get to be college age and are on their own, they're so used to having things done for them that they can't do things for themselves and they don't want to take responsibility for their actions.
It's apparently too much work to think for yourself in 2006.
Now I know I am generalizing to a significantly large population, and I know that not every 19 year old can't think/do for oneself, but I have been overwhelmed with how many students I work with who fall into this less responsible category.
As I said to my brother earlier, I sometimes find myself thinking: "If I asked my parents that question, Dad would have kicked me swiftly in the ass." Now not literally, as my parents didn't resort to violence in parenting, but you get the point - he would have looked at me with the look of "Well, what do you think you should do?"
As a simple example, I remember once saying, "Dad, how do you spell ____?" and insert some word I couldn't spell. He'd say, "Carol, what does the dictionary say?" In other words, "Carol, get the dictionary and figure it out." I got the point. I never asked my dad how to spell another word. I had the knowledge and resources to do it on my own, and that's what he pushed me to do. I mean, it wasn't rocket science - I could handle it on my own.
When I told my brother earlier that I think Dad would have kicked me if I asked him some of the questions I get asked on a daily basis, he asked me "What questions?" so I gave him a few examples:
"Carol, can you cite this for me?"
"Carol, can you find my professor's website for me?"
"Carol, can you talk to my professor for me?"
"Carol, can you wipe my ass?"
I mean, seriously, that's how ridiculous some of the questions are.
I don't know where I'm going with this, but the frustration I feel lately with my students is driving me nuts. It makes me wonder how long I can keep fighting the good fight of trying to push these students to develop responsibility for themselvevs when I know I will be faced with utter ridiculousness on most days. Some people tell me I should lower my expectations, but I don't think asking less of people will serve them or me for that matter better in the long run.
I can't help but feel morally depleted in my endeavor as an educator. And that's really, really depressing...
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