Responsibility? What is that?

I have excellent parents. I realize this more and more every day, not only because I know they have supported me through everything I've done in my life, but really because I believe they are the main reason I am who I am today.

I know that if asked, my friends would describe me as someone who is funny, sarcastic and a good time to be around. But in all seriousness, I know they would describe me as a hardworker who's level-headed, dedicated, and determined. I attribute this to my parents.

My mom and dad raised me to learn how to think for myself and to be responsible - to try first to come up with a workable solution to a problem before I ask for help - to use my common sense and logical thought process to work out a problem, to be dedicated to solving it, and to be determind to work it out and learn from the process.

I find that as I work with the late adolescent/early adult population, being able to think for oneself and taking responsibility for oneself seems to be less of the norm nowadays. I'm starting to believe this is part of a larger American cultural issue where many a parent resort to "doing for" their children instead of helping their children "do for themselves". So when these children get to be college age and are on their own, they're so used to having things done for them that they can't do things for themselves and they don't want to take responsibility for their actions.

It's apparently too much work to think for yourself in 2006.

Now I know I am generalizing to a significantly large population, and I know that not every 19 year old can't think/do for oneself, but I have been overwhelmed with how many students I work with who fall into this less responsible category.

As I said to my brother earlier, I sometimes find myself thinking: "If I asked my parents that question, Dad would have kicked me swiftly in the ass." Now not literally, as my parents didn't resort to violence in parenting, but you get the point - he would have looked at me with the look of "Well, what do you think you should do?"

As a simple example, I remember once saying, "Dad, how do you spell ____?" and insert some word I couldn't spell. He'd say, "Carol, what does the dictionary say?" In other words, "Carol, get the dictionary and figure it out." I got the point. I never asked my dad how to spell another word. I had the knowledge and resources to do it on my own, and that's what he pushed me to do. I mean, it wasn't rocket science - I could handle it on my own.

When I told my brother earlier that I think Dad would have kicked me if I asked him some of the questions I get asked on a daily basis, he asked me "What questions?" so I gave him a few examples:

"Carol, can you cite this for me?"
"Carol, can you find my professor's website for me?"
"Carol, can you talk to my professor for me?"
"Carol, can you wipe my ass?"

I mean, seriously, that's how ridiculous some of the questions are.

I don't know where I'm going with this, but the frustration I feel lately with my students is driving me nuts. It makes me wonder how long I can keep fighting the good fight of trying to push these students to develop responsibility for themselvevs when I know I will be faced with utter ridiculousness on most days. Some people tell me I should lower my expectations, but I don't think asking less of people will serve them or me for that matter better in the long run.

I can't help but feel morally depleted in my endeavor as an educator. And that's really, really depressing...