R.I.P. Zack Morris

"You don't understand. I have a relationship with my phone; we have a chemistry together, I can't explain it." - Anna Riley, Keeping the Faith

Like this movie character, I have had a relationship with my cell phone for the past four years. Many of you have seen and met my cell phone. I personalized it by referring to it as "Zack Morris" for quite some time. Zack Morris has been an appropriate name because it is a giant, bulky cell phone, similar to the phone the character of Zack Morris often used on Saved by the Bell episodes. If you have seen the show, you can get the correct mental image.

Like any good friend, Zack Morris has been a trustworthy companion. He has stuck by me through the good times, the bad times, the tough times, and the fun times. He has survived a few throws off the wall, drops down the stairs, and misplacings in strange environments.

This relationship has been mutually beneficial. Like any good friend, I have supported Zack Morris through his tough times as well. It has been often in recent years that those with more magical and modern phones have poked fun at him for his old fashioned ways. But regardless, I have always stuck up for him and have kept him by my side in times of need.

Time has come, however, to part ways. While Zack Morris has proven himself a worthy companion over the years, it is time for him to retire peacefully from a daily existence in my life. I have purchased a new phone which I will appropriately refer to as "Detective John Clark, Jr." for good reasons.

So it is in this moment that I take the time to thank Zack Morris for his trustworthy years of friendship and support. I am sad to see you go, dear friend, but excited about what the future holds in my new relationship with Det. John Clark, Jr.

Rest in peace, Zack Morris, rest in peace.