What's in a salad?

For lunch today, I made a salad. Lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, cheese, ranch dressing.

As I was eating, it hit me that I don't even really like salads all that much. This was my intial thought. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know they are supposed to be good for you and all, but I'm just not a fan.

Wait, no, my second thought was that it's not that I don't like salads, it's that I am not a fan of lettuce. I don't really like mass quantities of lettuce.

If you ordered a salad in a restaurant and asked them to hold the lettuce, would they look at you like you lost your mind?

I mean, pasta salad doesn't have lettuce so what is the real definition of a salad? Is lettuce a main ingredient or not?

I have given this some thought -- the majority of the salads I like don't have lettuce -- pasta salads of all kinds, the "salad" that is just fresh mozzarella and tomatoes, ham salad (similar to chicken/tuna but more fattening which makes it taste better).

What do you think of when you hear the word "salad"? What is your mental picture? Take a minute, please, and ponder this.

Dictionary.com offers some definitions. The first one says that a salad contains "raw leafy green vegetables" which in my mind implies lettuce. The second one is again about vegetables and gives you the image of perhaps potato salad because of its mention of mayo. The third one is "A green vegetable or herb used in salad, especially lettuce" -- hmm, lettuce especially -- this is interesting. And the fourth one is just about a variety mixed up.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of salads is "lettuce and other stuff."

I think I need to shift my paradigm so that salads are not "lettuce and other stuff" but rather "good stuff and maybe some lettuce" so then I can really appreciate and like salads.

So seriously, does anyone have thoughts on this or is this just my mid day rambling?

My salad had too much lettuce, and thus, I didn't really enjoy it all that much.

Little slices of heaven...

"I'm serious. I really think God puts things on earth - little slices of heaven - for those of us who will never make it there." - Cousin Jen, 5/25/06

Jen said this while she, Bridget and myself were sitting at the Memphis Redbirds game on Thursday. Her first example of a "little slice of heaven" was BBQ Nachos, which she experienced for the first time at the game... well worth the $7.25, spots of sauce on your pants, and food orgasm experienced while digesting such goodness.

Throughout the week-long visit, Jen has compiled a list of various forms of "little slices of heaven." I will share those now, in no particular order:

-Beer (needs no explanation)
-Dippy eggs (a Varano recover-from-drinking or eat-while-sick speciality)
-Hurricanes at Pat O's (also needs no explanation)
-Male foreigners with accents (hott)
-Laguna Beach marathon (yes, I watched it... two days in a row)
-Dunkin Donuts (the disgusting yet delicious bagel sandwich - never overrated)
-Saved by the Bell reruns and Hawaii movie (always a good time)
-PF Chang's (it's real chicken)

For all of you who question your life in eternity and fear you may not make it to heaven, may you enjoy all of the "little slices of heaven" life brings your way.

R.I.P. Zack Morris

"You don't understand. I have a relationship with my phone; we have a chemistry together, I can't explain it." - Anna Riley, Keeping the Faith

Like this movie character, I have had a relationship with my cell phone for the past four years. Many of you have seen and met my cell phone. I personalized it by referring to it as "Zack Morris" for quite some time. Zack Morris has been an appropriate name because it is a giant, bulky cell phone, similar to the phone the character of Zack Morris often used on Saved by the Bell episodes. If you have seen the show, you can get the correct mental image.

Like any good friend, Zack Morris has been a trustworthy companion. He has stuck by me through the good times, the bad times, the tough times, and the fun times. He has survived a few throws off the wall, drops down the stairs, and misplacings in strange environments.

This relationship has been mutually beneficial. Like any good friend, I have supported Zack Morris through his tough times as well. It has been often in recent years that those with more magical and modern phones have poked fun at him for his old fashioned ways. But regardless, I have always stuck up for him and have kept him by my side in times of need.

Time has come, however, to part ways. While Zack Morris has proven himself a worthy companion over the years, it is time for him to retire peacefully from a daily existence in my life. I have purchased a new phone which I will appropriately refer to as "Detective John Clark, Jr." for good reasons.

So it is in this moment that I take the time to thank Zack Morris for his trustworthy years of friendship and support. I am sad to see you go, dear friend, but excited about what the future holds in my new relationship with Det. John Clark, Jr.

Rest in peace, Zack Morris, rest in peace.